I WILL go to Beijing!

I have had a tough ride these past few weeks, mostly mentally, may I add. Dealing with a head injury has proved much more of a challenge than I could ever have imagined. Imagine all training and fitness ability is removed from you in an instant, only 6 weeks before the most important race of the season: the World Championships. It's very hard not to spiral into a downward depression realising all your season goals have just been taken away from you.


NLP has taught me a few valuable lessons though. You need to deal with the now. What's the point of fretting about yesterday? Or tomorrow? Or what everyone else thinks? I have not found this easy though. I simply couldn't work out the value and purpose of going to a race where I knew I would pull out a sub par performance. I reached the point where I was investigating how much of the money I could claim back and where I might find a consultant willing to write the letter.



I have cried many tears over this. It's been a tough tough road to locate the solution. I felt like I would be letting down myself, my coaches, sponsors and most importantly, my country. I simply could not see the value in travelling to a race I would not do well in, till today.


I WILL go... Why? Because I have a plan!!


I realised today while making a flippant comment to my coach, that there WAS a purpose. I was explaining how tough I was finding training at the moment because my brain was taking ages to adjust to different oxygen demands, so therefore it took me 2/3 of a training session to even get up to speed, meaning when I was nearly done, I was feeling great, not tired!


So I said 'maybe I should just do my race in reverse then, hahaha start slow and end quick!! Then I realised, that's exactly what I would do.


Because I am a strong swimmer and cyclist, I would usually do the opposite, but let's face it, the time and placing concerns of this race went out the window on the 16th July when I woke up in hospital. So why on earth not? Start the swim easy, bike steady and run for my life!! Who knows, I may have a brilliant run, or in fact it may not work, but I won't know unless I try it. And I wouldn't usually for fear of messing up the result.


So there we have it. I WILL go to China, I will be able to say that I recovered from the head injury enough to complete the race I set out to complete, and will learn something along the way too. What more can I ask?


Small steps?