Head injury: Week 10 – the return to work

I thought I was doing ok to be honest. I managed to get to China and back, all seemed to be moving in the right direction, yes? Well, no.... at least in part.

Don’t run before you can walk

To be fair, I was actually quite nervous about the return to work. It has been two months, my workload has changed dramatically, what if I can’t cope? What will people think of me if I forget stuff, or repeat ask questions in conversation? I went to see a clinical psychologist this week. I am still wondering why the brain injury team has sent me there.

We had to go through the whole injury from the start. It’s lucky I have blogged it all, because I wouldn’t remember it now if you asked me. In fact I had to re-read it myself. It taught me a few more things though

• It’s ok to be frustrated, and it’s ok to still forget things. Its ok to still have symptoms. It’s a head injury, it will take time.
• Apprehension about a return to work is normal.
• It could be better, but in fact, it could also be a whole lot worse

I am having tests next week, to find out exactly where I am at. I have no idea what that really means, so I will not worry about it at this stage.

 

Current symptoms

·    Periodical dizzy spells. I hadn’t noticed them recently but they have returned. I think perhaps with the return to work my brain is working harder than it has had to recently? I am assured that it is still ok, in the grand scheme of head injury.

·    Memory. I am finding this frustrating. I know when I returned to work that I had had a conversation with a staff member about what my year 11 were doing. I couldn’t remember what she had said to me though. I had to apologise and ask her to repeat the conversation again.

·    Information retention. I at least in the most part recognise this now, whereas before I did not, but it is still frustrating nonetheless. I had a conversation with a colleague. I started the conversation with a question. Within about ten minutes I had forgotten what she had said, and with apologies, had to ask the question again.

·     Fatigue. It all seems so much of an effort. I have been trying to put the early evening tiredness down to jet lag. I think, in part, it probably is. But, the pure fact is I simply cannot get through the same amount of work per day as I used to. I am just too tired. I am flaked out by 8pm. And that is without training added into the mix! On the day that I went for a run after work this week, I was flaked out on the settee asleep before 8pm. It is so hard to deal with, but there is quite frankly nothing I can do about it, and I know that.

I asked the psychologist about the reactions I may get from work. She had to remind me, I was not depressed, or stressed or struggling with my workload, I was RECOVERING FROM A HEAD INJURY. That is different, and I should give myself a break.